My dearest Blaze.. It had been a while since the last time this happened to me. Remember when we used to dream about each other and tell in the morning? It was fun.. Cause we could actually be together in our minds, unlike reality. Last night, i had a dream about you, for some reason i skyped you and you answered the call, you were actually there, talking to me, telling me how you were never really dead, and how it had all been a misunderstanding. I first got mad at you for not trying to reach me for a whole year, but it wasnt that important… Cause after all, you were there.. Smiling, laughing, dancing, doing all these stuff you never really did while alive. I remember myself laughing and crying and telling you how i knew it wasnt over, i knew you werent gone.
But then yeah.. I woke up. Cause in the end, we all have to wake up from that special dream, no matter how long, big, or real it is. Its still a lie.
Blazender, its been a year since youve been gone and i still find myself talking to you in my mind or simply recalling things, memories, moments with you and smiling to the air like an idiot. My life became a huge mess when you left.. Yet i think that im succesfully fixing it little by little. I still feel like i need you.. I keep some pictures of you in my computer and phone, even some screenshots of conversations we had. I miss you Blaze, and i am starting to think that i will never stop missing you, or find anyone like you. I know i wasnt your girlfriend, mom, sister, or anything like that but i am pretty sure i was your best friend. Forever, remember? I still am. And i will always be, because you said so yourself.
I love you Blaze, and maybe its no use to say this but please: “come back to me.”